| Group Information|
|Motto:|| PLEASE, NO!|
|Founded On:|| 6.29.2008|
DO NOT JOIN THIS GROUP was a Bungie.net group on Bungie.net. In July of 2005, it was eaten by CAVX when he confused it for asbestos. As of October 2010, it remains somewhere along his digestive tract. It bears the title, DO NOT JOIN THIS GROUP as a warning to asbestos-looking Bungie.net users to avoid CAVX.
Rules of DO NOT JOIN THIS GROUP
- Do not join this group.
- Do not post in lowercase(All post must be in caps)
- No opinions
The second rule is the most enforced rule, but seriously, don't join the group.
- The group has no member queue. At one point it did, and the group was very successful in its goal to stop people from joining but then, in the battle of green ribbons, back in 1967, some evil bandits thought that the group was hiding mystical treasure, magical powers, immortality, and a puppy. So they invaded, destroyed the member queue, joined, and stole everything, and then left. However the puppy escaped from their clutches and returned, telling me the whole story. That puppy is still around here somewhere. I don't recall where I put him though. Anyway, the bandits that plundered the group are still alive and are the biggest LAMECAKES known to man. Perhaps one day we will find them and restore order to DO NOT JOIN THIS GROUP. But first we must find the puppy, and I forgot to mention that the puppy has laser eyes that turn people into kittens. The puppy is the key. Only he can defeat the evil bandits. And if that day comes, then we will have pet immortal kittens.
- History Lesson 2
- We used to have [pears and second hand cucumbers], and about every other crop known to man. This was all until the Battle of Salty Tears in 1985. Our groves were our largest asset at that point. Badgers began stealing all of the crops. Luckily the puppy began turning them into kittens, but after about half he was very tired so he stopped. It was an epic badger vs. kitten battle. Some badgers made off with the crops, and most died. All of the kittens died and the other crops were all destroyed in the battle.
- the only crop left standing was the apple tree. It had an amazing stamina. It called out to me, "HAI CAVX, IM D ONLEE 1 LEFT ALIEV, K, HALP". So I went to our alcove. We were unable to replenish it since the battle of green ribbons except for one forklift. So I hurried off in it and managed to salvage the tree, putting it in our alcove. "Kthx," said the tree. I hurried back with the forklift and used it to defeat the last few badgers. Unfortunately, the machine broke down because it couldn't handle all of the badger-impaling. But all of the badgers were dead. We had only one asset left now, other than the puppy, for the whole group. The war-ridden ground made it impossible to ever plant crops there again, so the tree stayed in the alcove and that's where it is now. It still produces tasty apples. Would you like one?
- History lesson 3
- Then we spotted the encampment. After the apple market and currency started, this place slowly started to realize that there was a society around it. Buildings and other points of interest began popping up. Then things started happening. The yeast bats provided a clue to what was happening in the encampment that we had spotted outside the group, suggesting that they had seen the puppy traveling through the secret tunnel with some bandits. This suggested that the bandits had used this cave to enter and leave the group and initially subvert the member queue. After that, WB wolves and SonicJohn explored the tunnel and found the encampment, which was full of radioactive bubble gum cannons and bandits ready to invade. SonicJohn fell asleep at the camp but WB wolves ran away and informed CAVX of the news. The puppy was later found by SonicJohn (who had evidently awoken), stuck in an old thread containing the lyrics of le disko.
- History Lesson 4
- At the climax of these turns of events, Harold CAVX came and made an announcement, postponing the dramatic conclusion.
- History Lesson 5
- Eventually, new threads arose in the forums, but something was different. Further prodding revealed that it was somehow 500 years after the initial events. Ruins of certain areas still existed, like the foundation to the puppy's house and the pie factory. These locations are still around, but nothing really is happening in them.
- History Lesson 6
- A new market infrastructure began as CAVX acquired oranges and opened an orange market. Soon after, a giant apricot stole the oranges. The apricot retreated to the beans for bungie group. Now deleted, there are no records of the epic battle that ensued. However, the puppy quickly came to the aid of CAVX, turning many of the giant apricot's minions into kittens.
- After the oranges were recovered, an attempt was made to create a grapefruit market. The market's creation was disallowed on the terms that market owners must have a permit. Not to be without parody threads, another user created a permit market, which sold permits at the price of one CAVX car. The owner of this market, jimbomonkey1234 claimed to acquire his own permit by going forward through time and purchasing a permit from himself. This spawned the time machine market, which lent out free time machines but each round trip cost 5 kittens. CAVX pointed out that jimbomonkey1234 was required to find five kittens, otherwise he would change the future and he would no longer own the permit market. Work on acquiring kittens is still in progress.
- History Lesson 6
- And once we went up to space and stuff happened and Eliper and Connorwmcl got left on Jupiter for some reason I dont know what happened because I was too busy fapping that day.
- History Lesson 7
- Eventually, the unthinkable happened. A truly momentous and dark event. A 12-year-old that had attained the rank of Legendary Member on bungie.net JOINED the group. The fact that he joined was bad, but his being 12? Disgusting. This loser's name was DomDaBomb1997. His sickening presence continued to spread. It was decided upon this "Dom's" birth that he would be 12 from his twelfth birthday until he became what we would know as 40. He will then be 13 at that time and would age as we know it. But his joining would not go unanswered. The great st3althsniper22 finally arrived to save us all from the darkness that was the 12-year-old menace. The puppy tried to assist but in vain. Stealth finally created the all-powerful alliance with the puppy to take him down. They tried, but he would not un-join the group. It was then that the puppy finally gave up and put both stealth and Dom into a deep sleep to which they would wake up from when they became bored of sleeping. It was then that the puppy flew into the sunset never to be seen again until he returned when CAVX contracted SQUAIDS.
- History Lesson 8
- Unfortunately during late 2012, CAVX went berserk. He saw his group he had created as something he never intended it to be. It was no longer his group, but the members'. He stated that the group had become full of "PEOPLE THINKING THEY'RE COOL BY BYPASSING THE PROFANITY FILTER AND TALKING ABOUT AIDS LIKE IT'S FUNNY. CHRYSANTHEMUMS NOT BANNING PEOPLE DESPITE THEM INCESSANTLY BREAKING THE RULES. A BUNCH OF MEN WANTING AN APPARENT SEX CHANGE JUST TO GET THE CACTUS ROLE." He then prepared to destroy the group with a feature he had discovered called "leave this group." He believed it to be short for "leave this group empty and devoid of members while prohibiting members from reentering." He pressed the button and was imploded into another universe, where the puppy is believed to reside... The group has fallen to its own devices and Yax is dead. DNJTG is dead. All hail CAVX.
- NONMEMBER (Good)
- The best member title to have. This means that you have not joined the group.
- This means that you joined the group and are thus a LAMECAKES.
- For Christmas 2008, CAVX changed the title of "LAMECAKES" to "LOVECAKES" temporarily as a gift.
- Even worse than LAMECAKES. Only given out in special circumstances.
- Owns the knife.
- SY R B, who owns the apple-cutting-knife, has this title.
- CORTANA 5, CAVX'S WIFECAKES, has this title.
- Only NUBYW00TZ and NEOSHOGUN are the DUMBPIES, they got this title for working the hardest on the scapeship.
- Moderators of the group. They are still lame for joining, but most of the hate from joining is gone because they help moderate the LAMECAKES. SONICJOHN, JMH9072, FORS AETERNA, and DEATHTRAP462(DEATHTARP LOLOLOL) currently hold this title.
- CAVX and the puppy are both administrators. The puppy was revealed to be YAX.
- Threads containing lyrics.
- Do not _________
- Parody threads.
- Location threads.
- Completely random !@#$.
- Relationship advice.
- SONICJOHN rambling on about pretty much anything that happens in his life.
- You'll have never seen so many hot guys in one place.
- Advaenture threads.
- Individual user threads.
- Your mom.
- __________ is a bad person threads.
- Getting the French Fries out and why you should do it.