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The subject of this article is Bungie Lore; one of the many myths, legends, and easter eggs that have been created by Bungie.


Webmaster2
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The Webmaster hard at work.

UnleashNinjas

The Webmaster unleashing ninjas.


The Bungie Webmaster was first brought to the community's attention in April 1996, when the first batch[1] of letters (emails) to Bungie were answered. Of course, long before this, he was referenced, as he has a nasty habit of messing around with the server, screwing with code, and going on drinking binges for long periods of time.

Taken from Bungie's History page[1]:

"Who is the Webmaster? A good question, and one best answered by breathing the acrid fumes of history. Take a good sniff. One common misconception about the Webmaster is that he is a Gorilla. Even Mr. Magoo could tell, at some distance, he's no gorilla. Merely a man in a gorilla suit. With a cowboy hat. Why is a question for a different time, but the Webmaster wears his hairy mantle with pride and simian satisfaction, and naturally, takes no offense to being called a "chimp."

"The Webmaster's primary purpose has been, and will be again, to answer reader letters at an admittedly glacial pace, and the Webmaster came into being in Nineteen Oatcake. He simply popped into existence, squirted from the ether like soap from a prison shower.

"But the Webmaster has another, more nefarious purpose. One that will not be revealed until it is too late. For you all.

Identity[]

Webmasterno0

More alcohol is required!

"The WebMaster is his own deity." ~ Alex Rosenberg, former employee

The identity of "The Bungie WebMaster" has been one of the most closely guarded Bungie secrets. The community has been trying to answer this question since the first letter was answered.[2]

Only a few things are known about the Webmaster:

  • He is a man wearing a gorilla suit and a cowboy hat;
  • He is currently in a drinking contest with Yoozel;
  • He is almost always drunk, or in the process of becoming drunk;
  • He enjoys screwing around in the server room, 'tripping' over cables, and changing Achronos' code.

Some rumors going around the community are that the Webmaster is Achronos, who uses "The Webmaster did it" as an excuse every time something goes wrong on Bungie.net. There has also been speculation that the original Webmaster was Matt Soell, and was replaced when Soell left Bungie; but this is heresy, as there is only one Webmaster.

According to one of the Forum Ninja's April Fools jokes, the original webmaster was someone named Albert who retired in 2004 after implementing the new Bungie.net and raking in a massive bonus. He is currently living out a dream life in Bali, sipping delicious cocktails on the beach and enjoying slowly draining his ridiculously large bank account. Before he left, however, he renamed his administrator account to "Achronos" and handed it over to the Ninjas, who collectively maintains the illusion that an actual Bungie employee is still in control.[3]

Recently, Max Hoberman posted that he was hired as Bungie in 1997 to be a "Graphic Designer/Webmaster." He also said that Alex Seropian told him that he originally made Bungie's website.[4]

Answering Letters[]

Webmaster head

"The Webmaster is a cantankerous, beer-addled misfit who wears a gorilla suit and expecting sensible, polite answers from him is akin to gouging out your own eyes with frozen carrots. If you are easily offended, or frankly, if you are difficult to offend, then you should consider leaving now."

The Webmaster answered letters from the community from 1996 to 2012. While no one knows where the Webmaster currently is, more than likely he's been drinking and taking a pee-break.

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