Cortana 5

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"Cortana 5 is a carbon-based lifeform that frequently visits these forums, currently residing in the United States. Practically every male on the site responds to her posts."


File:Kirkpatrick9090.jpg History

Cortana 5, AKA Josephine or Joey, has been an avid member since the age of 11. After getting hooked on Halo: Combat Evolved at age 10, she became engrossed in the series. Before actually signing up on, she was a frequent poster on the forums, where one of the users sent her Bungie's way.

Over the years, Cortana 5 has grown up (a little) but is still on Since 2008, she's attended PAX Prime in Seattle, WA.

Notable Stuff and Things... And Stuff

In Janurary 2010, while contemplating the origins of the universe in the shower (where the best ideas are born), Cortana 5 decided to write a horrendously long thread about what Bungie's new IP would be about. The thread was well-recieved by the Universe forum-goers, but was auto-locked due to inactivity just two months shy of the thread's second year of life. The theory has yet to be confirmed or proven wrong by any studio officials.

During the summer of 2006, a poll was posted asking the members of the Flood who should be "Queen of the Flood." The user Jennelle4Now was named Queen and cortana 5 claimed the title "Flood Princess." It was soon discovered that Jennelle4Now was actually a guy and the title was passed to Cortana 5.

Outside of and in RL

Cortana 5 is a PMS Clan member and former division leader in the organization. After graduating high school at sixteen, she enrolled in college, seeking a computer science degree.

Currently residing in Wyoming as a proud barista, Cortana 5 has a vast arsenal of firearms for her own amusement and lives in a cabin in the middle of nowhere. While she still retains her US citizenship, she lives part-time in Puerto Vallarta, Jalisco in a condo next to a "Swim With the Dolphins" center.


  • Cake Bakers Anonymous
  • Coup D Bungie
  • For Carnage Apply Within
  • Mehve's Aerie
  • Membership Denied
  • Outskirts
  • PAX 2010
  • PAX West 2011
  • SeptaCrafters
  • The Bungie Podcast
  • The Marty Army
  • Waaahmbulance

Stalking Cortana 5

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